Why Are My Own People Not Patronizing Me?

Often, I hear people complain that they don’t get the right support for their businesses especially from family, friends, neighbors and other persons they are in a form of relationship with other than strangers. They complain that it is total strangers, mere acquaintances or long-lost buddies that rally round to patronize them and provide a lot of support for their …

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The sweet taste of the forbidden fruit.

Mr. and Mrs Okpara, one of my neighbours have a ‘no-trousers’ policy for their three beautiful daughters. I hear it is a very conscientious matter for their father. I have always admired how they’ve been able to keep at it when I heard that it’s been like that since the girls were born. As in, the girls have never worn …

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The folly of cheap things 2.

Kofo brought out her jotter and was following instructions from her make-up lesson notes. She kept rubbing, and plastering and cleaning and painting. Finally she declared that she was through. “My Anty, you are looking very sweet” She said. Before we could say Jack, she disappeared. Alice looked horrible. The gele was looking like roofing sheet. “Do you want to …

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Awoof! The folly of cheap things.

If there’s one lesson my friend Alice has learnt, it will be that sometimes if you want something good, you have to spend good money. All this awoof(freebies) ehn, no be only belle e dey spoil. Come and read the gist. A friend of ours Itohan was getting married. It was going to be a celebrity wedding judging by all …

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Humor 16- Some Impossible Kids.

A friend brought her kids over to mine for a visit. They attend one of these private schools where they are taught to speak English better than the English man. Those kids can talk for Africa! Soon the gist got to food matters. They told me the different foods they eat; sandwiches with smoked turkey filling, steamed vegetables and different …

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Humor 15.

Hope you’re having a good evening. There’s one anty in my area that we have become somehow close. Her name is iyabo. She’s single and in her early forties. I’ve always felt that she could dress and groom more tastefully so when she told me about one bro Kola who was showing interest in her, I decided that I will …

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Humor 14

Aging with swag. I attended an event recently and took some really nice pictures with family and friends. There was this beautiful one where some of us gather around a matriarch and I wanted to upload it on facebook. But first, out of courtesy I sought the permission of everyone in the picture. All the younger ladies gave their consent …

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Humor 13.

The Folly Of Oversabi (Doing Things Excessively). Some people will just see trouble sleeping and wake it up for a selfie. Cynthia announced at work that she will be getting married. Normal thing. But she said it will be in an unusual way. It will be the talk of the town. First, it will be on a Thursday as per …

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Humor 12.

Dress Gone Wrong. The day I knew my tailor never meant well for me was when I gave her a purple fabric for her to make me a jumpsuit. Instead of the gold sequence I told her to use for the bust, she uses a greenish something I don’t even understand. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I …

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Humor 11.

My grand aunt came to visit me. It’s her first time since my wedding so I show her the wedding album. 1st picture, I’m pouting. Grand Aunt: kilode ti o se se enu bayi? (Why is your mouth this way?). I explain. 2nd picture, I’m dabbing. Grand Aunt: kilode ti o se fi owo boju. Ta lo n sa fun? …

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Lessons From The Wellingtons

Lessons from the Wellingtons. To all the everlasting bachelors out there, it’s not so difficult getting a wife. Do you remember that girl you acted Cinderella with in ss3? Go search for her on Facebook. If it worked for Banky, who says it can’t work for you? And did anyone notice Adesua’s simple and natural hair? So guys, if a …

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Humor 10.

Dear Angelina, your mother raised you using wrappers but you have ‘stepped up’ to duvets. You better get up before you die of heat. 2. No matter how glamorous it looks, asoebi is a uniform. 3.  Yoruba people be like: Mama Titi: ki ni ka ha ni Iyawo Titi? (What should we distribute as souvenirs at Titi’s wedding? Mama Bose: …

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Humor 9.

Never make anyone make you feel less of a person. Even in poverty, you’re almost as good as a rich man. 1. A rich man drives a customized security car, you’re the only one that knows how to connect two wires before your car can start. 2. A rich man uses a passworded and voice recognition phone, you’re the only …

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Humor 8.

Pepper dem gang. I know why Yorubas are the most patient people. If you can endure pepper stew there is no harshness you cannot tolerate. Of Courage and bravery. So a friend had been inviting me to a social meeting. Last week I obliged her. In his speech at the occasion, the chairman said: ‘In unity we achieve our purpose. …

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Humor 7.

Let’s go clubbing. When your dad is an arsenal fan. You: Dad, I’m so sorry. I failed the course again. Dad: Don’t worry son, I understand. Sometimes in life we just get beaten again and again. Its not your fault though, I honestly think that lecturer should be removed. When you have a Barca daughter: Daughter: Dad! I told you …

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