Home » Fiction » Awoof! The folly of cheap things.

Awoof! The folly of cheap things.

If there’s one lesson my friend Alice has learnt, it will be that sometimes if you want something good, you have to spend good money. All this awoof(freebies) ehn, no be only belle e dey spoil.

Come and read the gist.

A friend of ours Itohan was getting married. It was going to be a celebrity wedding judging by all the hype surrounding the event. Her father is a society big shot though, so we didn’t expect anything less. As a confirm babe na, I made a magazine worthy dress with the over-expensive aso ebi and had booked a session with Ada, a very correct make-up artist. She charged me 7,500naira($20) for home service as per ‘my friend my friend’.

So I tell Alice about Ada. Since we will be going together, she could dress us both up.

“7,500! O ti po ju. It’s too expensive! Kofo my neighbor’s daughter has been disturbing me to do my make up. She is learning at a place in oshodi. She said with 2,500 she will do manicure and pedicure for me, fix acrylic nails, do my make-up and tie ‘take a bow’ gele”.

Honestly, the offer was really good. I was almost bought over if not that I had paid Ada in advance.

“Next time sha, don’t let all these makeup artist build mansion from your wallet. Just look for all these small small girls in your area to be giving 500naira($2) anytime you want to go out and you will be alright”. Alice sounded very wise. For once I thought of all the things that I could do with 7,500. Anyways, you win some, you lose some.

On the day of the event, Ada showed up right on time. In 45minutes, I was all glammed up. Subtle hues, but very chic and sophisticated look. I must have taken over a hundred selfies. I didn’t even know when I gave Ada an extra 1K. She was that good! Eventually, I was dropped off at Alice’s.

The Invitation said 11:00am. Alice came out of the bathroom at 10:00. Kofo had dipped her feet in very hot water for the pedicure so she was limping. Meanwhile, Kofo was setting up all her makeup ‘instruments’ on Alice’s dining table. They were dusty because one of the powders was broken and had spilled in the ‘nylon bag’ she put them.

Then she started.

“Anty, which look do you want? Beyonce, Lady Gaga or Kim Kardashian?” She asked.

“Well, just do something nice. We’re pressed for time” I said.

“No o. Dami. Let me use my money o. I paid for it, abi. 2,500 is not small money.” Alice interjected. “ Kofo, do sweet Beyonce with Lady Gaga smokey eyes and a touch of Kim Kardashian, sho ti gbo. Have you heard?”

“No problem ma. I will even do your eye lashes like Nicki Minaj. O ma fine gaan. It will be very fine, you will like it”. Kofo boasted.

Then, commenced the expedition.
First she rubbed Alice’s face with a white liquid substance, then a dry white substance, then a brown liquid, and then foundation and concealer and pancake and loose powder. She kept pushing Alice’s head left, right, backwards and forwards. I checked my clutch bag for paracetamol. I was very sure Alice will need some after the makeup.

Midway into all the drama, Kofo wiped off the entire concoction.

“Anty please don’t be angry. I have to start again. I forgot to do something that my madam said we should be doing.”

To be Continued…

Check Also

The sweet taste of the forbidden fruit.

Mr. and Mrs Okpara, one of my neighbours have a ‘no-trousers’ policy for their three …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.