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Humor 14

  1. Aging with swag.

I attended an event recently and took some really nice pictures with family and friends. There was this beautiful one where some of us gather around a matriarch and I wanted to upload it on facebook. But first, out of courtesy I sought the permission of everyone in the picture.

All the younger ladies gave their consent except 75year old mama Iluyomade.

‘Omo mi joor ma gbemi s’ori facebook ki awon omo kekere yen ma wa toast mi’ (my daughter please don’t upload my picture on facebook so that those small boys won’t come to toast (woo) me).

Whoever told mama that that’s the only thing that happens on facebook should be flogged.

But wait o, at 75, mama is still sure that she has toasters(admirers). I must be a learner.

2. A Fighter for a Friend.

Everyone needs a friend who is a human rights activist. When you attend a party with her she says ” it seems these servers are skipping our table and they even have an attitude, but guys just chill, I’ve got this. Let me speak to their boss.”

And she comes back with two apologetic guys and eight plates of food.

Tag a friend who is an activist.

3. A More Permanent Identity Card.

John the office assistant informed us that he has misplaced his office ID card since three months ago. We all asked him how he’s been able to beat the office security, get on the staff bus and how he’s recognized when he runs the office petty errands.

‘Me I am very popular o. There’s no where I go that they don’t recognize me. Before I enter anywhere people already open the door for me’ he boasted.

We all agreed. John has only three shirts. Orange, green and faded yellow. One black tie, a pair of black and brown trousers and a shoe that he has been wearing since the days of Mungo Park.

He doesn’t need an ID Card.

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